My energy this past year has quite frankly been…scattered. The type of scattered where you can feel yourself stretched across too many places at once and can’t quite find yourself within it. A cross country move. A new environment with new people. The ever evolving role as mother. Weddings. Family obligations. A business that’s evolving faster internally than it is externally….amidst some PPD, I felt like some days I was just floating through my life - without any true anchor.
I’ve always been someone who moves intuitively through these kinds of seasons. I take pride in being able to take action on little recalibrations and subtle course corrections.
However this time, now that I’m in a space where I feel I can, I wanted to go deeper. I am not who I was a year ago, not even a month ago, and truly not even yesterday…so it’s time. Almost like a kind of spring cleaning - but not just for my home; for my life.
This month, I started doing what I’ve come to think of as a life audit. A return, a gathering, a pulling my energy back into myself. As I am, right now.
While doing this, I thought… instead of keeping this private, what if we moved through this together? Slowly and gently. It’s brought me so much clarity and empowerment, I hope it does for you too.
We’ll start with the one that tends to hold the most charge. Finances & money.
Before going any further, I want to say this clearly: I am by no means a financial expert. At all. This is simply how I’ve been learning to view money - what I’ve done, what I’m working through, and the framework that’s helped me move from contraction into something more expansive.
Money, ultimately, is never just about money. In yogic philosophy, it’s often tied to the root chakra - our foundation, our sense of safety, stability, and belonging. Security.
For me, in this current season of life…that has all been shifting and as a mother (especially one in the early years) my relationship to money has changed in ways I couldn’t have anticipated.
Before my son, it felt simple. Linear, almost. I worked, I earned, I rested, and I worked again. There was a rhythm I understood and could step into. I had my businesses, I had a general yearly structure, I knew what I could bring in on average each year.
Now, my time is different and my capacity is different. The way I move through my days (and years) is no longer dictated by me alone. And because I’m not currently bringing in money in the same way I used to (being the one who’s with my son all day every day) there are moments (honest and hard ones) where deeper wounds surface around stability, security, and dependence.
I’m used to being able to work hard, receive, and step back when needed. Now I’m learning how to build something that doesn’t require me to constantly be “on.”
Something that works with my life, not against it. Something that allows me to be present in these early years while still contributing to my family.
That process - restructuring how I make money, while also redefining my identity within it - has brought me right back to this question:
Do things happen to us… or for us?
Early on in postpartum, when I was living off the maternity leave I had saved for myself, I had my identity stolen. Six weeks postpartum, exhausted, and at my parents’ house for the holidays. Holding my newborn… while trying to reclaim my literal identity.
I spiraled; of course I did! But looking back now, it almost feels like mirror work because at the exact same time… my identity (internally) was already being rewritten. Then, a few months ago, I got another notification. A data breach. This time from my brokerage account. Instead of spiraling, I paused and thanked the universe. I had just started this life audit. I had just begun looking into my finances more closely. It felt like the universe tapping me on the shoulder: “Hi. Look here.”
So instead of contracting, I responded differently.
Thank you.
Thank you for reminding me to change passwords. Thank you for showing me where things are loose. Thank you for helping me see where my energy has been scattered.
As I started cleaning things up (tying up loose ends) I found things I had completely missed in months prior. Subscriptions, overlaps, even a double dental insurance we had been paying for - $100 a month, just quietly leaving. Hundreds of dollars, over time.
That’s when it really landed for me: money is just… energy. It’s not inherently heavy and it’s not something to fear or grip tightly. It’s movement and it’s exchange. 1’s and 0’s on a screen that we’ve given meaning to. When I simplify it like that - it loosens its hold because we all just have 1’s and 0’s in our bank accounts.
What matters is how that energy is moving, where it’s going, and how it feels as it moves through your life.
This is where the audit begins; not with restriction or criticism, but with awareness. Looking at your finances as a witness and as an observer. What am I actually spending money on? Where is my energy going? What feels expansive? What feels contracting?
There are places where spending money feels like joy for me, like nourishment, and like alignment. In my budget, that’s whatever contributes to my health: good, quality food, bodywork, yoga, etc. Things that support my body because I see them as long-term investments into every part of my life.
On the other hand, then there are places where spending feels… tight. Where it feels unconscious or even reactive and instead of shaming that, I’m learning to get curious and to experiment. To ask - what would happen if I shifted this, just slightly? For example, something as simple as not immediately buying something online. Writing it down instead and waiting a week. It turns out… a lot of things I thought I needed, I didn’t and that small shift alone can create space. $200 a month is $2,400 a year. You could go on a trip with that amount of money. Have an incredible experience. That reframe (same money but different energetics) is everything. Rather than an item, I got an opportunity.
It’s not about cutting everything out, it’s about becoming intentional because the more conscious your spending becomes, the more your money starts to feel like it’s working with you.
The same is true with how money comes in. I’ve started to think of income streams as portals. Places where energy flows in. Some feel aligned; easy and creative. Others feel heavy, draining, and out of sync with who I am now. In just seeing that (without immediately needing to fix it) creates space for something new to emerge.
My truth right now, especially as both a mother and an entrepreneur, is that alignment matters more than force. The way I used to work… isn’t the way I want to work anymore (nor can I). I don’t want money that requires me to override my body, or disconnect from my life, or push past my capacity just to prove something. I want money to feel… responsive. Like it’s meeting me where I am, like it’s growing from what I actually love, like it’s something I can build slowly, sustainably, in rhythm with my life.
For more of my offerings, you can connect with me here.
That requires a different kind of relationship; one that includes dreaming because money can’t feel heavy all the time. We have to let ourselves imagine - what would it look like to make money in ways that feel deeply aligned? Ways that feel creative, unexpected, even alive…There are more possibilities than we’ve been taught to see, but we have to give ourselves permission to see them and at the same time, we need to ground that vision in something real.
In the review of our finances, we look at the numbers, we review the accounts, we simplify where we can, we pay off credit cards regularly, we look at subscriptions and decide what still feels relevant, we set up systems that support us so we don’t have to think about everything all the time…Then we bring in support when needed (financial advisors, tools, resources) not because we can’t do it ourselves, but because we don’t have to hold everything alone and some people are much better at these things than you are - so rely on their expertise!
As we move through this process, something else inevitably always surfaces. Beliefs: scarcity, fear, limitation. Old narratives about what we can have, what we deserve, and how hard things need to be. We bring these narratives into the light. We can write them down and look at them clearly; because you can’t shift something you’re not willing to see.
This is where the deeper work begins; not just changing what you do with your money - but changing how you relate to it. Letting it be something that moves, that supports, that expands with you and from there, we set intentions. Intentions from alignment. What is one goal that stretches you - just enough? Something that feels possible… but expansive. Something you can move toward in the next few months without overwhelming your system.
And perhaps more importantly: Does that goal require you to abandon yourself to reach it? Or does it ask you to come deeper into who you are?
Because for me, I’m no longer interested in goals that require me to grind. That version of success doesn’t feel like success anymore. I want something slower and more rooted with my values as a mother. I want money to respond to joy, to creativity, and to presence.
This audit (this process) isn’t really about finances, it’s ultimately about returning. To your life, to your energy, and to the way you want to live simply through one outlet: your finances and money.
When your energy is no longer scattered - when it’s gathered, intentional, alive - everything begins to shift.
Even money…
If this resonates, I’d love to hear from you. What has helped you feel more stable in your finances? More expansive? In motherhood, in business, in life? What beliefs have shifted things for you?
Here with you,
MJ
The Money Audit Practice
A guidebook for gathering your energy back
Before you begin, make this feel good.
Take yourself on a little date to your favorite coffee shop. Order the latte, the tea, the pastry. Bring your laptop, notebook, and favorite pen. Let this be less of a dreaded chore and more of a self-care ritual.
